Jay Deitrich

“I just don’t think I have things figured out yet. I’m 53, and I still haven’t figured things out. I feel like other people are maybe more formed than I am, because they seem to be so resolute in their lives and in what they believe and in what they know. I just can’t imagine feeling that complete. I just kind of like being in the mess, because I’ve met really good people in the mess…and they’ve been worth it.” This quote encapsulates Jay’s demeanor and personality. He has a radical hospitality about him – one that welcomes and comforts the disregarded.

Jay has been working for the diocese since 1987. “I’m like the Forrest Gump of the diocese. I just happen to be here. I’m a nobody. I’ve just gotten lucky,” Jay explained in regards to his experiences in the diocese. He has been in seminary, worked in the maintenance department, ran the kitchen at the chancery, lived with bishops of the diocese, ministered in parishes, and is now an office manager on his “third baby priest” in Grinnell. Jay is filled with a modesty and gratitude that is hard to come by, he remarked, “I’ve been blessed with the affection of mediocrity. It’s the minor things through which God has moved in my life. My faith has been a steady walk, and with all the big things going on around me, it is the steady walk that has been the most enriching to me.”

Jay described a common occurrence in his household. “When my wife and I are watching movies, I’m always rewinding to point out something funny or interesting that someone is doing in the background.” Jay is the type of person that always takes time for those in the background. When talking about his experience of working in a parish, Jay chuckled as he described the variety of tasks and jobs that he does on a daily basis. “I do secretarial work, financial work, and I clean the bathrooms when that needs to be done.” Jay recalled a time in which he was helping someone who had gotten stuck in one of the bathroom stalls at the parish, “you really connect with people when you’re crawling under a stall door to help someone get out of the bathroom. Maybe something like that is annoying to others, but maybe that’s the kind of thing that I’m here for.”

Jay believes in regards to, not only ministry, but simply being human and interacting with others that, “it’s about making people step away from their interaction with you and feel like they had a good experience and are loved. It usually comes down to if people feel like they are safe, loved, and listened to. Either someone is acting because they feel safe and secure, or they are acting because they don’t. You just never know how you’re going to touch other people’s lives, and sometimes you do a crap job at that, but sometimes you can make someone feel seen. That’s what it’s about.”

Jay does just that, he makes people feel safe and seen, from those on the parish council to those who have never step foot in a church to those stuck in bathroom stalls. Jay commented, “We don’t have to agree with people to remain friends with them. People just need to be heard. When people genuinely feel like someone is listening to them, it can be transformative to them and to you.”

When Jay was asked what he wanted people to take away from his story, he responded, “just that we can all get better at understanding that we don’t know everything. We can all practice a little more empathy, and there is more to our faith than the rubric.”
 
What do you do?
“I am the office manager at St. Mary’s Parish in Grinnell.”

What do you love about the Diocese of Davenport?
“I’ve worked for other great dioceses, but the Davenport Diocese just feels like home. I don’t know what it is about Southeast Iowa, but it just feels like a warm and cozy jacket…I’m not sure how else to describe that.”

What are your hopes for the diocese in the future?
“I’m really excited about the young priests and for the next generation to move the diocese forward into better helping others and empathizing. I’m looking forward to what the church is going to be with my children’s generation.”